Introduction
Six months ago, I sat down at my keyboard, and began writing for my first ever blog post, on my first ever website, for what was really my first ever personal initiative. I wanted to tell men all over the world that they needed to prioritize their mental health and the first words that came to mind were..."Stop Being so Tough!" It was a call to arms for men to make a change. I had been struck by some significant statistics about suicide deaths, homelessness, and incarceration in the male community and was navigating some pretty challenging life circumstances personally. The message I wanted men everywhere to hear was, "You don't have to just figure it out...you don't have to do it on your own...and you don't have to pretend like the emotions that you experience don't exist." Today...Father's Day, as we acknowledge the fathers balancing the demands of parenting, providing, and protecting, while managing their own mental health, I'm six months into this journey and halfway through Men's Mental Health Month, and I've never been more convinced that the brand, the website, and the message are a necessity in our culture.
The Underserved Crisis of Men's Mental Health
Men's mental health is an under-discussed crisis. Three key statistics illustrate the urgency of this issue: 1) Men make up 80% of all suicide deaths, 2) 80% of all people experiencing homelessness in the U.S. are men, and 3) 80% of all inmates in the U.S. are men. These staggering numbers underscore the gravity of men's mental health problems and the systemic issues that contribute to them. A pervasive "macho" culture often discourages men from seeking help, leading to untreated mental health problems. For a more in-depth look at these statistics and their impact on Men's Mental Health check out a previous article here.
Navigating Fatherhood and Mental Health in 2023
As we honor fathers today, on Father's Day, let's acknowledge the unique pressures they face in 2023. In a rapidly changing world, fathers are expected to be providers, nurturers, and role models. They are tasked with balancing the demands of parenting, providing, and protecting, all while managing their own mental health. The cultural shift has seen men taking on more household and parenting responsibilities - positive and necessary changes, as women establish their careers in the workforce. The progress of women in the workplace is something to celebrate. However, the responsibilities for men have not lightened; the role of provider, protector, and emotional supporter remains.
Men continue to work hard, while also supporting their partners emotionally and sharing domestic duties. The transformation didn't involve trading anything from our traditional roles, but rather, it involved relinquishing the hobbies that grounded us. These hobbies, often seen as leisure activities like fishing, hunting, hiking, or hanging out with friends, served as vital outlets to decompress and "blow off steam."
In today's world, with our partners also working to afford the high cost of living and establish their identities in the workplace, men often sacrifice these opportunities. There's simply too much to catch up on at home, or we recognize the efforts our partners are making throughout the week and don't want to appear selfish. However, this sacrifice has led to an unintentional neglect of our mental health. We never identified these hobbies as mental health strategies, yet, they served as our therapy and a means to practice mindfulness. These activities allowed us to feel something beyond stress and anxiety and provided a safe space away from the pressure of never showing perceived weakness.
The narrative has changed in 2023, but without a conscious plan or strategy for how to adjust, we risk a collective neglect of men's mental health. As we navigate this new landscape, it's crucial to recognize these changes and develop ways to support men in maintaining their mental well-being.
The Price of Societal Norms on Men's Mental Health
Societal norms and expectations can further compound these pressures, often leading to a reluctance to seek help. It's crucial to change this narrative and foster a culture that encourages men to prioritize their mental health. As men have progressed into more supportive and partnered roles in society, we haven't evolved as a society to shift the perception of emotion from a sign of weakness to a sign of strength. The end result of that lack of change leads to a troubling cycle. We can't stop our bodies from experiencing emotions. It's literally chemical! They're natural responses to stimuli, hardwired into our brains. Yet, societal pressure often discourages us from expressing these emotions, leading to internalization and suppression. We tell ourselves to "Man up," "Walk it off," or simply, "It's all good" and move forward.
This suppression can, in turn, lead to increased rates of depression and anxiety. In a previous article I wrote titled "The Cost of Silence: Exploring the Consequences of Ignoring Men's Mental Health," I discussed the alarming statistics related to men's mental health, highlighting the impact of this silence. It underscored how ignoring mental health can have far-reaching and damaging effects, such as increased suicide rates, homelessness, and incarceration among men.
Men's Mental Health Month: A Time for Awareness and Action
Men's Mental Health Month is a dedicated time each year to raise awareness about mental health issues affecting men. Sadly, the most commonly searched items regarding men's mental health this month are queries like, "Does men's mental health really matter?" When is Men's Mental Health Month?" and "Why is men's, mental health ignored?" It's a time to dismantle barriers that prevent men from seeking help and to highlight resources for those in need. It's also important to remember that June is not just Men's Mental Health Month; it's also Pride Month. Unfortunately, some people use this as a point of contention, suggesting that one cause overshadows the other.
However, this perspective fails to recognize that we can, and should, celebrate and raise awareness for multiple causes at the same time. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation. It can be a both/and. And here's the deal, regardless of one's personal or religious views on the LGBTQ+ community, it's important to acknowledge the significant progress they've made through a collective voice and united front. The LGBTQ+ community's impact on societal change demonstrates the immense power of a small, vocal, and passionate group of people. As we raise awareness for men's mental health, we can learn from their perseverance and commitment to change.
The Power of Community in Supporting Men's Mental Health
The importance of community cannot be overstated when discussing men's mental health. That's why I created The Man Cave within The Lockman Lounge. The goal is to have it serve as a space for men to share experiences and foster connection, helping to combat negative stereotypes that deter men from seeking help. It's worth noting that these spaces need active participation to thrive and for right now...we haven't started a single conversation.
Despite having established platforms like the "Lockman Lounge" channel of the Trooprz discord, I wrote about this partnership here, the level of conversation is not where it needs to be for these communities to have a significant impact. The more we normalize discussions about men's mental health, the less stigmatized it will become. Encouraging open conversation about mental health issues can lead to a more understanding and empathetic society.
We can look at models like Alcoholics Anonymous, church support groups, and other dedicated spaces where people share their struggles and find solace in common experiences. These communities not only provide a platform for individuals to express their emotions but also act as a lifeline for those who feel isolated or are struggling to connect with something larger than their own personal experience. The aim is to create similar spaces where men can freely talk about their mental health without fear of judgment or ridicule. I've said this before, If you don't believe that ridicule is there just take a stroll down social media alley and you'll find it around every corner.
Taking Action: Proactive Steps during Men's Mental Health Month
Awareness is the first step, but we have to follow that awareness up with action. Here are three specific action steps that men can take during Men's Mental Health Month to impact the current state of Men's Mental Health:
Self-Care: Dedicate time for self-care activities that help alleviate stress and anxiety. This could mean hitting the links, going for a walk in nature, or getting together with friends.
Seek Help: If you are struggling with your mental health, reach out to a mental health professional. There's no shame in seeking help, and taking this step could be a significant turning point. I've included some resources in my header for those who want a more annonymous or online experience.
Speak Out: Share your mental health journey with others. Your story can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage others to seek help while also creating a standard that having conversations around men's mental health is and should be, and feel, normal.
Conclusion
Lasty, on this Father's Day, as we observe Men's Mental Health Month, let's extend our support to all fathers, and men more broadly, who are managing their responsibilities while also navigating their own mental health journeys. It's time to shift the narrative and create a culture where men feel comfortable seeking help. We've walked plenty of miles in the shoes of men who are silent. It's time to make meaningful change, allow our voices to be heard, establish communities that are vocal about the issues we face as men in today's world, and impact our culture in a positive way. There's never been a movement towards positive change that didn't begin with a single voice and never a movement that grew without the efforts of the collective. As we continue this journey, let's stand together. Together, we can make a difference! Make sure to do something positive today and happy Father's Day! Break the silence, End the Stigma!
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