Redefining Success: My Journey from Corporate Hustle to Present Fatherhood
- The Lockman Lounge
- Dec 3, 2023
- 5 min read
Embracing Life's True Riches: Beyond the Corporate Race
In today's fast-paced world, the delicate balance between career ambitions and family life often becomes a tightrope walk for many. We get so caught up in the race to achieve professional success that we sometimes overlook the small, yet profound moments that truly define the richness of life. My journey over the past year has been a testament to this struggle and an enlightening path to rediscovering what matters most.
The Wake-Up Call: A Day in the Life of a Busy Father
Friday was a "Daddy Day." My youngest was sick, my wife had patients to see, and that meant I was taking PTO and spending the day with the girls. Roughly a year ago, these two little ones barely knew me. I was out the door each morning between 5 and 6... and would get home anywhere from 5:30 in the evening to 9 or 10 at night, only to wake up and do it all over again. When I did make it home, I'd spend dinner finding a specialty vehicle for a particular branch or navigating an angry customer on the other end of the phone. I was projecting our needed fleet for the next week or making sure we were appropriately priced. On weekends, I was constantly engrossed in calls and texts and, although I was physically present, I was rarely connecting with the very people I was working so hard to support. Sure, I'd ask the typical questions, "How was your day?" "What was one thing that was fun today?" to my 4-year-old, and I'd make funny faces at my two-year-old between texts and pat her back while she did a puzzle, but I wasn't really involved in the moment.
The morning had begun with me anticipating that I'd drop them at daycare, make the long commute from Huntsville, Alabama to Nashville, Tennessee, and leave the office early enough to pick them up from daycare. At 5 in the morning, my youngest started crying, and I headed to her room to pick her up because my wife was getting ready to hit the door. I assumed she had just woken up from a bad dream. I quickly picked her up and put her on my shoulder, noticing that she must have been crying a ton because my shoulder was soaked in an instant! Within a second or two, I realized that, through her tears, she was saying, "I throw up in my bed..." and then I smelled it.
A Shift in Perspective: Cherishing Simple Moments
A year ago, I would have been annoyed... bothered by the inconvenience of having to take off work because my wife couldn't miss her day with patients and concerned that my boss, who was a great leader for the business... but not the most invested in work-life balance, would pepper me with questions about who was going to be in charge of my rates or fleet management needs for the day while I was trying to clean up the throw-up out of my little one's bed. This time it was different. I took her into our bathroom so we didn't wake up my oldest, got her a change of clothes, and stripped all the soiled sheets, pillowcases, and Minnie Mouse stuffed animals from her bed to toss in the washing machine.
As the day unfolded, I found myself being appreciative of the simple challenges – like finding a breakfast option that the oldest was happy with, that didn't upset the little one's stomach, AND that didn't send the little one on the war path because she couldn't have something that the oldest was eating. Jumping through all those hoops would have frustrated me before, but on Friday, I actually enjoyed it... at least for the day. Each little laugh, each hug, it was like they were saying, "We see you... We appreciate you being here." In the past, I just missed those moments, too caught up in the hustle of work. A year later, I wouldn't trade those moments for the highest "stack ranking" in the company!
Reflecting on Change: Finding My True Role
In between their naps, I reflected on this change. A year ago, my identity was intertwined with my job. Today, I realized that my most important role was here, at home, with these two little beings who looked up to me not for what I provided materially but for the love and attention I gave.
It's worth noting that performing at the highest level possible while at work is still very important to me, but the reason it's important has evolved. It's not just about personal success anymore; it's about providing for my family. The goal of maintaining financial stability is there because I want to ensure my family never has to worry about our basic needs, so we can enjoy our lives to the fullest, free from financial concerns.
As my wife and I got the girls through their nighttime routine, I felt full. I was tired in a different way than I am from a typical workday but felt thankful to have had the time. I had been thrown up on, put through the ringer about what food each kid could have, and played a ton of games that I personally had no interest in playing, but it had been an incredible day. My oldest insisted that I pat her back before she dozed off to sleep, and when I kissed my youngest on the forehead and said, "I love you, sweety," she murmured, "Love you, daddy." In the context of the day, it was confirmation that what I thought was a life-altering transition in a negative way in my life, was actually a much-needed reset that's helped me refocus my attention on the things that matter most.
Embrace the Moment: A Universal Call to Action
In retrospect, the months and years I spent engrossed in my previous career, going through the motions, came at a cost. My daughters grew older, and so did I. As Brian Tracy, a renowned motivational speaker, wisely said, "Time is the most valuable asset you don't own. You may or may not realize it yet, but how you use or don't use your time is going to be the best indication of where your future is going to take you." This realization hit me hard, but it also brought clarity. It's crucial for each of us to understand why we do what we do every day. Our identity shouldn't be solely tied to our jobs. There's so much more to life – moments with our loved ones, personal passions, and the simple joys of being present. Embracing these elements not only enriches our lives but also has a profound impact on our mental health. Being present in the moment and aware of our 'why' can significantly enhance our well-being, reducing stress, and improving our overall quality of life.
This transformation in my life was not just a personal revelation; it's a universal truth that many of us grapple with. The lessons I've learned extend beyond the confines of my own experience, touching on a truth we all confront in our lives. I urge everyone to take a moment to pause and reflect. Are you present in your life's every moment? Are you living or just existing? While we all have responsibilities and careers that demand our attention, it's vital to balance this with the essence of living. Embrace the current moments and all those that lie ahead. Commit to being present, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. In doing so, we don't just enhance our own lives, but also those of the people we love. Let’s work diligently to make every moment count, for in these moments lie the real treasures of life. Take care and remember to make a positive impact on the lives of those around you today.
Comments