Why is Prioritizing Men's Mental Health Difficult?
Men stop being so tough! We're taught from an early age that expressing feelings shows weakness, that crying is something that boys don't do, and that it's our job to be strong for all of the people who depend on us. It's 2023 and I want all of you to know that it can be a "both/and" situation. As we see countless men die by suicide and a rapidly changing society that has left many people trying to understand what role they're supposed to be playing, I want to stand on the highest mountain I possibly can and shout "Feelings are normal, expressing them is ok, and people care about and need you!"
My first blog on this website is going to be an effort to encourage men everywhere to take their mental health seriously and to encourage the men that you interact with to do the same. I'm going to list nine strategies that can help you prioritize your mental health and make yourself a priority.
Strategies for Men to Prioritize their Mental Health
Here they are:
Talk to a therapist or counselor. Therapy can be an effective way to address mental health concerns and develop healthy coping mechanisms. It can also provide a safe space for men to discuss their feelings and experiences. With the emergence of telehealth practices, there are more discreet options in this category than ever before. These options help deal with the discomfort someone may feel due to the stigma men face while seeking counseling.
Practice self-care. Self-care involves taking care of one's physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This can include activities like exercising, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing. Often men will skip these activities because they feel like they're sacrificing time with their families, work responsibilities, or a multitude of small jobs that are a part of an ever-growing and never-ending list. Guys, going fishing or working out isn't something that your family would expect you to forego to change that 8th lightbulb in the very back of your attic. Take the time to take care of yourself. Every flight I've ever been on has told me to put my oxygen mask on before helping the people beside me.
Connect with others. Social support is important for mental health. Men can connect with friends, family members, or support groups to share their experiences and receive emotional support. I feel uplifted and happier overall when I've had time with friends. We often talk about sports, play music, tell jokes, and just discuss life. Those moments are constant reminders of the positive relationships that I have in life, and we need to spend time strengthening them as they strengthen us.
Take breaks from technology. Now it's not lost on me that I'm out here asking you to read through a blog on your screen right now BUT this one is super important. I've often felt my lowest, most stressed, and least engaged when I get buried in my devices. Constant exposure to technology can be overwhelming and can contribute to those feelings of stress and anxiety. Men can take regular breaks from their phones, computers, and other devices to disconnect and recharge. I'd even suggest filling that newfound time with another strategy from this list!
Get outside. Spending time in nature has been shown to have numerous mental health benefits. Men can try going for a walk, hiking, or engaging in outdoor activities to boost their mood and reduce stress. Sometimes peace and quiet in the middle of nature is just the thing you need to exhale and realize that there are a ton of positives in life. With any luck, some of your self-care activities will lead you outside and into the sunlight as well. A little vitamin D does the body and the mind good.
Engage in physical activity. Exercise has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health. Men can try incorporating regular physical activity into their routines to improve their mood and promote overall well-being. This can be increasingly difficult as you get farther and farther away from your prior days of activity. The cycle is pretty vicious and looks like this: I stopped exercising, I got out of shape, my energy levels decreased, and I'm too tired to exercise. It's a giant kick in the rear end that the fastest way to break the cycle is to do the thing that you feel like you just don't have the energy to do. Go for a walk, get on that treadmill, hit the gym, do some yoga.... really whatever it is that you can commit to make your health a priority is a must when it comes to making your mental health a priority.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being present at the moment and paying attention to one's thoughts and emotions. Men can try mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, to become more aware of their mental health and to reduce stress. I've recently started doing "under-the-table picnics" with my oldest daughter. She requests these adventures at least three times a week and they're quite simple. We climb under my kitchen table, and she sits up nicely and eats her meal while I scrunch into an impossible posture and try to get some food down. Despite the discomfort of being a grown man under a table, I've been able to enjoy these moments in a way I never could before by practicing mindfulness. I live 100% in those moments because they will go away faster than I could ever imagine. "Soaking up the moment" has helped me immeasurably when it comes to finding joy in life and focusing on the positives even during difficult times.
Seek professional help for substance abuse. Substance abuse can have serious negative effects on mental health. Men who struggle with substance abuse should seek professional help to address their addiction and improve their mental health. I'd encourage readers to just be objective when it comes to this category and challenge their friends, to be honest, and forthcoming if they ever think you have a problem. I'd also encourage you all to be that same accountability partner for your friends who struggle with addiction. This is a very delicate topic but many of us have seen friends progressively struggle with addiction and I'd love it if we could encourage one another to get help before the consequences are difficult to overcome.
Prioritize sleep. Getting enough quality sleep is essential for mental health. Men can establish a consistent sleep routine, create a comfortable sleep environment, and practice relaxation techniques before bed to improve their sleep and support their mental health. I have struggled greatly at this over the years. I've had times throughout my adulthood when it was normal to sleep for three to five hours a night. I'd keep that pattern for three or four days and then crash on the following day for a twelve-hour binge sleep. I can tell you all that I'm a lot happier, have more energy; and enjoy my day more when I practice solid sleep hygiene and get seven or eight hours a night.
Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness
Fellas, Stop being so tough! Just be a person. I told a group of friends yesterday after hearing about the passing of tWitch that I didn't necessarily need my buddies calling me every day to cry on the phone telling me about how hard their job was BUT that if they needed to, I hoped that they knew they absolutely could and that I would support them, not judge them, and listen to them without hesitation. Let's work together to just be more human. We can still be badasses who protect and defend our families. We can still pride ourselves on our strength, our ability to survive in harsh conditions, and all of the things that men have adopted as male-oriented attributes for all of time. Let's just do those things while prioritizing our mental health so that we can build stronger relationships with the people we care about and end this terrible cycle of men feeling like they can't have feelings. The feelings are never going away dudes so we might as well deal with them the right way. If you need help, please get help. Take care and do something positive today.
John
About the Author:
John Lockman is passionate about promoting men's mental health. Having lost a family member to suicide at an early age, he is committed to raising awareness about the disproportionate number of men affected by this devastating issue. Through his own personal experiences and his website, www.thelockmanlounge.com, John hopes to help men think differently about how to prioritize their well-being and become more comfortable acknowledging and processing their feelings in a healthy way.
In addition to his passion for mental health advocacy, John also has almost two decades of experience in the business world. Most recently, he oversaw roughly 100 million dollars of annual revenue and was responsible for managing a team of 75 employees. In this role, John had a significant impact on customer service, profitability, employee retention, and marketplace growth. With his wealth of knowledge and experience, John is a seasoned professional with valuable insights to share.
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